Why is change so hard?

Indeed, I have witnessed many changes in my life in the last year, but my particular query for this blog entry title is actually more quotidian—why is making change so hard here in Jordan???!

This week I brought my friend and colleague Renee some fancy-schmancy hair product she asked me to buy her from the United States during spring break. I happily picked up some biolage blahblah hair care and Renee owed me 12 JD for it. (It may be helpful to remind my readers that Jordanian dinar is our currency, 1 dinar worth about $1.50 and we call them “Jaydee” ) Renee couldn’t find change anywhere, so she gave me a 20 JD note hoping I could find change. Difficult to find change. Harumph.

The next day friend and colleague Tristan ‘spotted’ me for dinner (I try not to ever pull the old “Oh-I-didn’t-bring-my-wallet-tonight” routine having had a friend in New York who regularly perpetrated this dastardly act) when I genuinely thought the school was picking up the tab since we were out to welcome a new colleague. I owed Tristan 15 JD. The restaurant couldn’t make change. However, I couldn’t give Tristan the 20 JD from Renee because I had a cleaning person coming the following day, and needed to get change for the cleaning lady. ARGH!

It’s not as if we cannot get money here. We have ATMs! But the ATMs only spit out bills of 50 JD—which is like running around with $75 bills all the time. And no one seems to be able to make change! When I have gone to the barber, I try to have the 4JD in exact change so that the barber does not have to go across the street and buy some groceries in order to make change for me. One time when I went to the Dead Sea Marriott resort as a day guest they couldn’t break the 50 JD bill to give me change (I think it costs 25JD to be a day guest and enjoy the pool and Dead Sea area with all the mud you can slather). The man suggested I come back later for the change. I thanked him, but decided I would wait until they had had a few more guests and could make change for me. These are businesses for heaven’s sakes! These are places that I expect to be able to make change!! The most reliable way to get change is to go grocery shopping in Amman—the Cosmo where many of us shop reliably takes your money and gives you the proper change. Why is making change so hard here in Jordan???!

So the next day, while the cleaning people were busy mopping and scrubbing my apartment tile floors, I tried to get change so I could pay them the 15 JD for their labor. I made a plan: I would visit all the ‘financial’ places on campus. I visited the bursar, the accounting department and the student store. The accountants could only give me 2 10 bills for the 20 JD note. Each time the people pulled out their wallets, and no one could make the change. Why is this so hard? UGH!

I apologized to the cleaning ladies after they finished, and promised them I would find the change soon. This quest had become a little too maddening.

However light-hearted this recurring encounter with change is, there are certainly difficult changes in people’s lives, and very often we struggle with the question of how will we survive change?

Last weekend, right at the time that everyone returned to KA after spring break, two Jordanian colleagues lost their mothers. You come back from restful, exciting vacations, and boom! immediately try and help colleagues grapple with a change that goes from simple inconveniences to profound loss. One friend’s mother had been suffering for some time, and the other one had just begun to have some trouble. One mother about 80, and the other barely 65. What was interesting is that on this first day back to school, last Sunday, there were the two different funeral services to attend on the same day, one a Christian service and one a Muslim ritual. The most noteworthy similarity about the two scenes of mourning was that both involved gender segregation. As we entered the venerable Orthodox church in Madaba Sunday afternoon, it was obvious that men would sit on the right, and women on the left. The service is a mass requiem, and towards the end friends may go and meet the grieving family in a kind of receiving line. That evening, as we went to some newly erected tents on the edge of the village, the men went to one tent, and the women to another. At least for the men’s tent, you enter, take a seat, and a young family member comes and serves you tea. Eventually family members come to you, you offer condolences, and then wait to be taken to the food tent for mansaf. The most striking thing about these two funerals on the gorgeous spring day is how many people from KA attended both of these services. They provided buses for us, and a strong number of faculty, staff and students made the effort to attend the services and offer their support. Though we are still just in our first year of forging friendships here it was very comforting to me to see this support for colleagues.

The following evening the Dean of Students, my friend and colleague Wendy, announced she and her husband, the Director of IT, would be leaving KA at the end of the year. This came as a surprise I think to everyone and is more change than many believed they wanted to endure. Few people have the impact on our campus as this woman who had commented to me that this was her “dream job.” But as we all know, things change, situations change, expectations change, priorities change, hopes change—suddenly sometimes.

It may be hard to believe, but the following afternoon this same friend Wendy discovered her beloved dog Zeus had died. Zeus was going to turn 10 this Saturday, and some of the girl boarders had promised a birthday party for him. While Wendy and her husband were on vacation in South Africa Zeus had developed congenital heart disease, so they came home to give him medical attention. Zeus just didn’t make it.

For any of you who have been attached to a beloved pet—you know this change in your home can prove pretty devastating. People found out at dinner about Zeus and several of us made our way over to Wendy’s home to offer our support at this sudden change. The most marvelous—really heartwarming—thing is that over the course of the next hour almost every student in the dorm made their way over to offer Wendy a hug and visit Zeus one last time. One of the things that have always made me the most tear-y as a teacher is seeing teen-age boys do sweet things. What a testament to our community that these students, and especially the boys, came over to be sweet and kind and offer them support. Gets me every time.

This accounting for the change in Wendy’s life—so abruptly too—is notable for another reason. I may not have mentioned over the last nine months, but dogs are not common pets in Jordan. Dogs are generally viewed as wild, feral animals—I guess we would liken this Jordanian attitude to our having a raccoon, or a fox, as a pet. Wendy, however, brought Zeus to Jordan, walked him all over campus, using the fears many students harbored toward this golden retriever as a way to help the students encounter their fears in general and confront their fears. Most of the time you went to visit Wendy in her office, one spied Zeus sprawled on the floor, taking those luxurious naps for which dogs are famous. So as these students trooped over to Wendy’s house, offering hugs and their hearts, it was obvious that this floppy-eared doggie had made a difference. Of course, if you know how much I cried at the dof-centric Where The Red Fern Grows as a child, I was a little misty-eyed viewing this whole scene.

Wendy wrote an email the following day expressing her thanks for our touching support:
Sad and tired. Still in disbelief. It happened so fast. I wasn’t “ready.” I guess you’re never ready. He was an incredible dog for me and for others. I will miss his presence in my life at nearly every turn, as he was always under my feet! I got so lucky when he came into my life. He was more than I had ever hoped for when I decided to adopt a puppy. And to work in two schools where he could accompany me to work was a gift I will always treasure.

I think 100 kids strolled thru our apartment last night to say goodbye. And, our friends all came by as well. Even the most fearful came over very brave and tearful. I said when we accepted jobs here that “Zeus will change the Middle East”…and, by God, he did!

I’m sure my emotions will not be understood by some of my colleagues, as the love for an animal is perceived as odd around here by some, but Zeus’ death will remain a profound part of my life. And for that, perhaps I too can “change the Middle East” by educating those around me to the value and complexity of the love for a pet. I challenged the students last night to “take a chance” and some day love a dog. It’s amazing and forever.

Who would have thought a dog could change the Middle East! But of course, change isn’t really so hard—sometimes you just need exposure to new things, an environment of support, a little trust, and room to grow. The change in my classes has been extraordinary. I will tell you more about that in a few days.

Right now, do any of you have that elusive 5 and 5 singles for this 10 JD note I have???