The Good Doctor

This is the 11th day since my father left the comforts of Cincinnati, Ohio to make the journey to Jordan. In the days he has been here we have mixed the tourism with the daily life of a teacher at a new prep school in the Middle School. Two days in the last week my father spent the entire school day away from KA—in the company of a wonderful man, the good doctor, Dr. Hamati.

In the 1970s Neil Simon wrote a series of comedy sketches that became more profound than they had the right to be. Simon called his play, The Good Doctor. Two days in the last week my father spent time in the company of Dr. Hamati, and their time became more profound than perhaps it had the right to be. It was the meeting of cultures, but also the symbiosis of brilliant fathers and loving husbands.

When I first came to Jordan I wondered if I would get to know any of the families as closely as I had over the years at my schools in Gastonia, Charlotte, or Tarrytown. I hardly knew anything about Arab family, or Arab life, and would I be too much of an outsider, would I be included in family celebrations as I had over the years with families like the Jacksons, the Coyles, the Enszers, the Eldridges, Khosrowshahis, and so many other treasured families.

Well—in the last week my dad has enjoyed invitations from the good doctor, and dinner with another family who owns a pizza place, and last night with Hamzah’s family in Karak. In each case the family was so enthusiastic to meet my father, break bread, and visit as if we were really just long-lost brothers.

Here is a brief break-down of what we have done in the last week:

Thursday: Baptism site, dinner at Chili Ways
Friday: tour the Roman town of Jerash, the Islamic castle Ajloun, visit to the DVD “candy store,” late lunch Bruscheta in Amman, pot-luck dinner on campus
Saturday: first meal in the dining hall, trip to Mukawir, church
Sunday: school day; trip to the barber shop in Madaba; duty night
Monday: school day and dinner at Tony Roma’s in Amman
Tuesday: touring with Dr. Hamati; reception at the Korean ambassador’s house in Amman
Wednesday: spa day with Dr. Hamati and a speaker at school in the evening
Thursday: school day and dinner with Fadi’s family in Amman
Friday: drive to Karak and then expedition to Petra and finally, dinner, with Hamzah’s family

Before we go to spend the afternoon and evening in Amman I thought I would interview the old man about his trip:

Q: Besides harboring “the worst drivers in the world,” what other observations do you have about Jordan so far?
I heard the first cuss word on my trip just yesterday—the first one in over a week—and it was Petra and from an American. Their greeting in Jordan is always, “So how do you like Jordan?” Men like to smoke. People like coffee. They certainly like to eat. Skies are always blue—very few clouds. There is usually a breeze coming in from the west. You need sunglasses here—because we don’t have brown eyes (most people here have really brown eyes and Dr. Hamati wonders if that is a self-filtering system). Many wear people like we wear, and some wear their traditional clothing of the long robes and headwear. Teen-agers are teen-agers: they like to get together, be together, yell, run, and dress individually. There is a Jordanian boy, a Muslim, wearing a “Fat Albert” t-shirt. Hairstyles vary here—men and women. Coca-cola and Pepsi-cola are bottled water are very popular here.

Q: What about the trip to Jordan has been what you expected it to be?
Many surprises though but what has been what I expected is, well, I am in awe about the antiquities here. Two hundred years is nothing here—we are talking centuries and BC here and Dr. Hamati took me to a watering well the other day, and it dates back to before the time of Christ. How can sheep live on land where there isn’t anything growing? If I was Moses walking around out there for 40 years, I doubt I’d make it over 1 or 2 mountains, and don’t think I would have made it to the Promised Land. The Baptismal Site looked like a piece of rye bread—the color of the water, and the flies were biting. It was not very appealing. But more than I expected—without doubt, the friendliness of the people. People want to hold a door open for you, they like to greet you and shake hands, they want to host you for dinner—they want to make sure you are enjoying yourself and seeing their special attractions.

Q: What did you learn about Jordan from Dr. Hamati?
I think Jordanians are achievers—they strive for excellence. In his family they strive for excellence and everyone in his family has achieved very well. Many of the families are large, and in our talk I got a sense of how they take care of each other. You won’t find nursing homes here—family takes care of family. Dr. Hamati said if you succeed, you are expected to help others.

Q: From the 16 hours together over the course of two days, what conversation topics are likely to be the most memorable for you?
In addition to being a physician and surgeon, he is a retired army general. When I go with Dr. Hamati he pays for everything, or we don’t pay! He does tip. He is thoughtful beyond measure. He has cared for his family and for others. When I am with him and there is a security screen, walk around it. People know Dr. Hamati. We talked about medicine, religion, politics, sports, travel, family, how much he loves his wife and how dedicated to her he remains. When he was called out to discuss a surgery he made sure I was taken care of. He drove me to Madaba to show me things, to Mt. Nebo, to the Dead Sea, to Amman—this man went beyond hospitality to welcome me to Jordan.

Q: What about your trip would most surprise the regulars at the Imperial, your hang-out, in Cincinnati?
No foul language! Remarkable to go this long without it! When people are disgusted here they may gesture. They seem to have patience, except when they get behind a steering wheel. They don’t like to replace lights when they burn out and they don’t like to use turn signals! I never saw speed bumps on a highway until I came here.

Q: What about the tourist sites like Petra and the mosaics?
I had always connected mosaics with what I had seen in the 1950s in Italy, but maybe these people taught them how to do it. The sides of the roads are littered with water bottles, plastic bags, papers, drinking cups, coke cans, and fast-food carry-out. People picnic under any tree they see, daytime or nighttime. There will be a grill on the side of the road and a family visiting and eating. Few roadside signs to help you on your way. I miss I-75! Few stop signs, and if they are there, they don’t obey them anyhow!

Q: Any other observations or reflections at this stage of the visit?No parking meters, and people park wherever they want, facing either direction, against the curb, feet away from the curb, parallel, on an angle, on a bend—anywhere you can pull over! People walk on the street, not on the sidewalk, walk right across the street. Children and adults.

Q: any observations not involving cars or walking??
They like to eat and make sure you are happy with the food.
Last night at Hamzah’s house they made sure that we were as happy and helped as much as possible.